Have you ever felt invisible? I was out kayaking on the local river a couple of months back, and just as I was turning along the bend of the river, I couldn’t help but notice a couple of ambulances and a rescue truck with a boat on a trailer sitting along a ramp by the river ahead on my left. It was the usual set-up you see when they are in the process of rescuing someone in the river. As I got closer I saw how serious and rushed all the men looked. I then carefully looked all around, up and down the river, all along the shore line.., I was the only one on the river! About a half a mile ahead was the low dam, a place if you went over the odds were that you would be drowned.. But the rescue crew wasn’t parked there. I then proceeded to purposely kayak close to where these men were setting up and getting close to launch the rescue boat. Were they there for me? Am I in the waters drowning or dead? Am I a ghost seeing things from afar? I paddled right by them, none of their eyes glanced upon me… No one saw me! I went down to the low dam and then turned around, purposely paddling by them again, and again I was ignored. I continued to paddle upstream to the ramp I put in at. All of the time as I paddled back I was so unsure if I was in reality, alive. I was really unsure if I was or wasn’t the person that they came to rescue or recover. I carried my kayak up the ramp and loaded it on my car then slowly I pulled out on the road.. Truly.., not knowing if I was alive or not. Everything seemed so surreal as I drove along. I felt so utterly strange… I was almost in a fog as I drove down the road… Am I dead? I looked around and nothing seemed to have any rigidity…. My surroundings were almost in a mist, a mist of uncertainty. I wanted to grap the phone and call my daughter to verify my existence… But then……, did I really care? Is this what death feels like, another form of emptiness….
Jesus Follower 